no church in the wylde™

although i don’t agree with kanye west all the time, i am still a big fan of his music. i even once had a client endearingly title a review he wrote for me “the good life”— a song off one of my fav kanye albums, “graduation”. while it’s hard to decide what my absolute favourite kanye album is, i can easily say that aside from the spiritually cleansing “ultralight beam”, one song that resonates with me on an existential level is “no church in the wild”. it is appropriately the opening track for “watch the throne”, kanye’s collaborative masterpiece with jay-z, and frank ocean (who i also love) is featured on the chorus. the song is guided through a simple, mid-tempo, yet combative beat as ‘ye and jay-z challenge our belief systems, values, and preconceived notions of life.

Two tattoos: one read "No Apologies"
The other said "Love is Cursed by Monogamy"
It’s something that the pastor don’t preach
It’s something that a teacher can’t teach
When we die, the money we can’t keep
But we probably spend it all cause the pain ain’t cheap

the above is my favourite verse because in just a couple lines, kanye unpacks some complicated questions— monogamy isn’t the top tier of love? money ≠ fulfillment? life is suffering?? it takes a certain level of self-awareness to explore these questions honestly, especially the first and last one.

“life is suffering” is a buddhist sentiment where the suffering is rooted in the impermanence of things in life, or life itself, and our attachment to it all. by recognizing and accepting this absolute truth about life (impermanence), only then are we able to start striving for a more peaceful life, and becoming more true to ourselves as we let go of our egos. when kanye raps the last line of that verse, he alludes to the fact that no matter how much money some people have, it doesn’t make them less susceptible to feeling empty or unfulfilled in life— feelings that often arise from a lack of self-awareness and/or self-acceptance, and are consequently (and subconsciously) masked by a costly vice(s)— be it drugs, pussy, or gucci. not to say that the latter two are unhealthy vices in all cases, but they can be if you heavily depend on the things outside of you for happiness or a higher sense of self-worth, whether if it’s the love and validation of others or superficiality and materialism.

but essentially, without self-awareness or self-acceptance, it’s hard to live a life that feels genuine and meaningful to you. you can have all the money and finer things in life, or all the things that you’ve been * conditioned * to want, but what does it all mean if you’re living a life you * think * you’re supposed to have, instead of one that aligns with your truest needs and values?

one of the things we’ve been conditioned to want, or to believe as the right way to live, is dating monogamously, which kanye challenges in the second line. while i personally have not explored much outside of monogamous-type relationships, i am realistic about monogamy’s limitations. it is unrealistic to expect one person to fulfill all your sexual and emotional needs, especially as time goes on, and we shouldn’t pathologize or shame those who are honest about their needs, should those needs stray from conventional forms of dating. as a hopeless romantic, i still have faith in monogamy in the sense of having one partner you find home in. if i really cared about someone that i felt was right for me, i would be open to setting our own rules so that we can simultaneously feel closer yet freer, if we ever discuss and communicate needs that we are not meeting for each other.

at the end of the day, it’s better for your well-being and the health of your relationships in the long-run to be honest about what you want than to repress and compromise. instead of having cheating be this taboo yet rampant thing, it’d be cool if people strived for less dissonance, and more harmony within themselves, so that the same can be achieved in their relationships with others. but i know i am being super idealistic— society has a loooong way to go with achieving this level of self-awareness and unlearning the ideas they have been taught about love and relationships. i’ll admit that i have days where i struggle with letting go of monogamy/exclusivity as the ultimate tier of love, but i just chalk it up to my ego getting in the way (me wanting to be a special snowflake) and remind myself that i can still be that bitch because other people’s shine doesn’t dull mine.

this post went in deeper than i intended, but all of it still perfectly ties back to my brand. it’s the essence of the wylde™ experience and pure intimacy— being your truest self in all your raw, godless glory.

but if secularism is not your thing,
i give you permission to call me Goddess and worship at my altar… Xo